Perhaps we should all wear fake hair when we need a boost

Tonight I have a dress rehearsal and tomorrow I have my drag performance for the local circus. Bree is in my act and so for it has been really fun acting things out with her(and I am sure will continue to be so). I am a little nervous as usual but I know that for some strange reason facial hair gives me an extra boost of courage.
I have been having anxious dreams all week. As Bree put it to me about her own dreams, when waking I don't feel rested with such busy thoughts having just left me. If only I could leave busy thoughts in dreamland.
I see the doctor on Tuesday. I also have a test that day. Statistics. It does no good to worry about it before I know anything(very often said advice that so rarely is taken). Perhaps I should wear facial hair to the doctors?
I am scatterbrained in every sense of the word. I need to pick Bree up at the library(where she works) and I go to the forestry building(where most of her classes are). I make wrong turns going home and write x's when I want to write r's or f's when I want n's. I forget the obvious time and time again. What we did yesterday and what we are doing tonight. Why we can't go here and must instead go there. I feel as though I am often questioned and I have no reply or even the slightest recollection of an answer. When do I check out and when do I check back in? Why have I no control over the simple matters in my life? It is enough to make a girl think she is going crazy. Thank goodness I am so secure.

Hello crazy town

Spring break was a little rough. One of our childhood dogs passed on(as mentioned in Erin's blog). The very same dog I saw at the pound and knew my mother and I had to take home. This dog was always happy, as though just seeing you made his day. He died of a tumor and I cried my eyes out only stopping when Mariah came over to play video games and make sure I wasn't alone.(I hold back tears now just writing this) Rest in peace my friend. I love you very much.
The day before our sweet dog was put down I received a call from my doctor. I have been lactating consistently for the past two months. (I tried for a long time to think of a better way to say that and deciding I don't care left it as it.) After some blood tests they concluded that my hormone levels are off and after a look at the *ahem* substance they concluded I was indeed producing milk. The doctor I saw who was a very nice lady from the university's health center told me to see another doctor in town who will be able to take me further than she could. She said the exact same thing that Bree's mother said(which make me think her mom is in the wrong profession) that it could be a sign of a tumor on my pituitary gland. This is apparently very common in women said my doctor and is often not cancerous. I am seeing another doctor April 1st and for now who knows what the hell is wrong with me. I would like to say I am not worrying about it but for those who know me that is an obvious lie. As an overtly anxious person (who recently has had a panic attack or two making her think she is on another trip to crazy town) I think I am doing alright. Thankfully I have a very loving girlfriend and a sister close at hand(and one a phone call away who is the only person who reads this other than said girlfriend, hi Erin!) to remind me of the lighter more logical points of view. It was a hard week and harder still is waiting till April to more than likely just be shuffled around again to some other doctor. All I can say is, hello crazy town, it has been a long time.

It's kind of a stretch but I could say I will be in a circus

I don't put much stock into dreams but I do find them entertaining and weird to the point of being creepy. It's like watching myself in a movie that doesn't make sense. Certainly some themes in my dreams could be linked to schema's in my mind but I am not about to try and analyze them myself. I will look on them and laugh or point and then whispers to the person next me things you will never hear.
Some dreams I have had lately:
-I was in a closed super market with other customers and we were trapped. A serial killer got in through the super locked doors(super locked was a technical idea that only my dream addled state could understand). He then chased me into a dark room where I hid between some dark and looming shapes. It was warm. I then leapt out and beat him with a shovel. I emerged from the dark room to search for the others.
-Evan was driving and a cop started driving behind us. I freaked out and told him to pull over so I could talk to the cop (who I apparently knew) about Mariah's disappearance(which apparently happened). He pulls over and the cop gives me all this info in a manila envelope. The cop also gives Evan a ticket for driving while on ecstasy and only going odd numbered speed limits. We meet Bree and Jen at a restaurant where we all eat TV dinners and Evan has a glass of limes.
-I somehow piss off some frat guys at a convince store and they follow me home just to run me over with their car. I think they were stealing skittles.
-I am marrying into an Asian family and spend the weekend carting my betrothed's (who I never meet nor is ever mentioned) family around and trying to please them. The mother hates me and the father is super awkward. We have lots of picnics.

On another note I will be doing a drag performance for a local circus here in Flag. I am pretty excited.